Monday, September 6, 2010

do you believe in magic?

My extended blog absence actually has very little to do with my usual long-term procrastination and laziness. In truth, I've been very sick and spent a week in the hospital (which included 3 days in ICU).

While I think my recovery has been good, I'm still not up to normal speed and it's a constant reminder of just how sick I was -- and it's also a reminder of just how lucky I am to have my family and their constant love and support throughout all of this.

What happened to me? Suffice to say that it was a conglomeration of my stubborness, my failing to read a situation correctly and two infections that weren't acting the way those infections are supposed to act -- if they had, it would have tipped me off that I had something more serious than the flu. As I understand it, I am lucky to be alive and even more lucky that I didn't lose the function of a kidney.

Because hearing aspects of what almost happened to me still upsets me, I know that I have a lot of mental processing to do before I know where to place this event in my life, both emotionally and mentally. I certainly feel more mortal than I ever have before ..... but I'm also now a survivor which can't help but make me feel at least a little powerful.

Do I believe in magic? You bet I do.

(I love the little dog above because he reminds me of my many, many shuffle-footed trips to the bathroom with my IV pole in tow and my butt unshamingly hanging out the back of my hospital gown. From the happy look on his face, though, he was definitely getting better meds than I was!)

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