a horrible warning

I usually title my posts with a song title from the past but for this post, I thought I'd use part of the wonderful Catherine Aird quote, "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."

Today is my 29th month quit smoking anniversary ..... yay, me! But when the wonderful Quitnet website sends me monthly e-mails to remind me to celebrate my anniversaries, they always also include a statistical approximation of how much time I have added to my life span due to my quit.

I have been quit for almost two and a half years and so far -- according to their estimates -- I have added only 4 months, 14 days, and 18 hours to my life. Why so little? Because I was an idjit who smoked for 35 years ..... that's a helluva lot of damage to undo. Someone who has only smoked for 10 years is going to see their regained life span estimation explode compared to mine.

Now I know that the additional 4 months number is far from set in stone -- I could die tomorrow or I could live another 30 years -- but my hope is that there is some young smoker out there who reads this and decides to quit sooner rather than later so that they regain their expected life-span light-years faster than I do.

Let me serve as your horrible warning. Please.

stayin' alive

I know that at one time I had a number of people following my quit-smoking journey and I know that many of them were traveling the same road. I hope that we all ended up in the same happy place.

I'm immensely proud to be able to say that I still have not had a single cigarette since December 19th, 2007 -- 29 months! For a 35-year smoker, that's an accomplishment. I only wish I had done it much, much sooner.

I'm a bit of a rare animal in that I successfully quit on my very first try -- I had to, you see -- I know me and I know that a quit attempt that resulted in failure might mean that I'd never even try again. Having said that, I'm far from cocky. I know that in order to maintain my smobriety I must never, ever have that first puff. As long as I don't do that, I'm home free.

.

chantix: another month bites the dust

Family obligations have kept me a bit busy lately but my narcissism will permit me to pop in and pat myself on the back in recognition of my third month quit-smoking anniversary. If only the first weeks had flown by as breezily as the months do now.

I've actually finished my required 3 month Chantix run, however, my doctor told me that studies show that hard-core long-term heavy smokers (like me) have a better success rate staying on Chantix for 6 months. I'm not going to argue with what obviously seems to be working.

All along I've said that I don't have any of the negative side effects that so many folks seem to experience. Granted, I have about 5 minutes of nausea if I take my morning Chantix on an empty stomach and some of the worst gas I've ever had in my life ..... but otherwise I've pretty much sailed through. However, I'm actually starting to re-think some of that.

As a life-long dieter, I'm familiar with hunger -- I'm quite certain that I've experienced it in all of it's possible permutations. There's one type of hunger -- a grinding, gut-churning hunger -- that I hadn't experienced often but I paid attention to it when I did -- I always felt that it was my body's way of telling me, "I'm not screwing with you: eat something now." I actually call this type of hunger "core hunger" because it seems to go beyond the routine "Is it time for dinner yet?" hunger I experience daily while on a diet. It's extremely uncomfortable and makes me feel very antsy.

Ever since I quit smoking, I've been experiencing that type of hunger on a daily basis. At first, I attributed it to my quit -- the body adjusting, the addiction demanding attention, the brain demanding a distraction -- and I either gave into it or fought it. I kept telling myself it would get easier. But I'm three months into this and I'm still experiencing this extreme hunger on a daily basis -- even when I haven't been dieting strenuously -- and I'm starting to wonder if it doesn't have something to do with the Chantix. We know it affects the digestive system -- perhaps it creates just enough havoc in my stomach that regular hunger feels like "core hunger?"

Either way, it makes no difference. I'm in this for the long-haul, hunger or not.

happy anniversary to me

I'm a member of the great quit-smoking community QuitNet and this morning they sent me a happy reminder that it was two months ago today that I quit smoking. I plan to celebrate my "smobriety" today.

I can vividly recall that first week, when each hour felt like a full day and I couldn't begin to imagine being two months into it. One sign of progress in this very long process is that my not-smoking time goes by much more quickly now -- I know that I'll be at three months smoke-free before I know it.

One small additional achievement for me is the weight issue. I've battled a weight problem all of my life and having recently lost 30 pounds (with 10 more to go to my goal), I was scared to death that I would gain it all back when I quit smoking. Since I quit on December 19th when the house was full of Christmas goodies, I did initially gain 10 pounds (yikes!) but I've already managed to lose 5 of that. I'm anxious to lose 5 more so I can just concentrate on maintaining until my smobriety is easy enough that I feel up to tackling the final 10 pounds.

A nice thought: I weigh 25 pounds less than I did a year ago today AND I'm a non-smoker as well. That feels good.

blowin' in the wind

When I made my daily check-in on the Chantix GetQuit website this morning, this is what was waiting for me! Woo hoo! Those who know what a deeply-entrenched cigarette-loving smoker I was will understand what an accomplishment this is. I truly believed that I would smoke until the end of my life (even if smoking hastened the end).

During the extremely early days of "my quit," I watched the very clever "Welcome Aboard, Chantix Users" over and over again created by the very clever Stan. It lightened my mood and reinforced my goals. I've also enjoyed all three episodes (so far) of Meg & Brent Quit Smoking. As their struggles testify, quitting with Chantix ain't easy ..... it's just easier.

There's been much in the media lately about some Chantix users suffering severe psychological problems. Just as some people are allergic to penicillin, I don't doubt that there are some people who should not take Chantix. Speaking solely for myself, I'm doing fine and any anxiety I feel (and I'm anxiety-prone to begin with) I attribute to this dramatic lifestyle change and not the medication itself.

chantix dreamin'

This not-smoking thing is a very convoluted process. According to the experts, I am waaaayy past physical withdrawal from nicotine -- that's over after the first 72 hours. What I'm still struggling with on a day-to-day basis is the psychological addiction which is a different animal altogether. It's gettting easier but it's still not easy. I rarely actually crave a cigarette anymore -- instead, there's just kind of a constant vague low-grade anxiety and the feeling that something's just not quite right. I'll gladly take that over the near-panic I experienced the first couple of days. I can't imagine how much worse this would be without Chantix.

It will be 40 days tomorrow. I'm even impressing myself. :)

ice ice baby

It was 4 weeks ago today that I smoked my last cigarette. For decades cigarettes were my constant companion. If I was leaving the house, I made sure I had a pack with me. If I was going to another room for an extended period of time, I made sure I had a pack with me. If I was going out of town, I made sure that I had a lot of packs with me.

Meet my new constant companion: Dentyne Ice Arctic Chill sugarless gum. These days you'll rarely find me without a piece in my mouth or a couple of packs in my pocket. I can't say that I enjoy feeling so gum-dependent but it sure beats my previous addiction. As John Lennon said: whatever gets you through the night is alright ........

hang on sloopy

24 days. Amazing. I know it's just a drop in the bucket of the rest-of-my-life as a non-smoker, but I never, ever would have dreamed that I could go 24 days without a cigarette -- I had a hard enough time going 24 minutes without one!

There are no miracle fixes .... this is outrageously hard work .... but there isn't a doubt in my mind that Chantix has made this much easier than it would have been otherwise. I have had a disturbing smoker's hack for years and years and it's almost gone now. I still get significantly strong urges to smoke but they're usually in connection with some activity I used to associate with smoking -- and I had many -- but they're gradually diminishing.

No, I don't own any stock in Pfizer, but I just can't recommend this product enough. Believe me, if it's working for me, it can work for anybody.

Chantix or (not) smokin' in the boys room

I've been hesitant to blog about this simply because I feel it's so tenuous -- like a baby bird making it's first attempts at flight. For the first time in my life, I'm trying to quit smoking and I'm doing it with the help of the relatively new smoking cessation drug Chantix. Having never given quitting a good effort before, I wasn't sure just how effective this drug is in curbing cravings. However, I've noticed that an hour or so before my next dose, my nicotine cravings have become more demanding. Most of all, if you'd told me a month ago that I could go without a cigarette for 4 days, I would have told you that you were out of your gourd so I know Chantix is helping significantly. Having said that, I will add that this is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do.

Will I make it? I don't know. I know that, statistically, the number of long-time smokers who quit on their first try are about nil ..... but I still hope to be amongst them.